Love Song: A Stage Dive Novella Read online

  With teeth and tongue and lips he went to town on me, working me higher and higher. I had to admit, his delight in oral had long been a plus. He didn’t scrimp or get bored halfway through like some guys. Oh, no. Adam made a meal of me on his kitchen counter. My breath came in little pants, and my heart lodged high in my throat. Every inch of me awakened and came alive under his ministrations.

  I sucked in a breath. “Fuck.”

  He made a humming noise and homed in on my clit. We knew each other too damn well. Knew what drove each other crazy and what got us off. Some sucking and flicks of his tongue. A light bite. And I was done. With a loud groan, I came, body tensing, drawing up tight before releasing and rocketing for the stars. Without a doubt, he knew how to send me interstellar. Dammit.

  I was still twitching when he picked me up and pushed me up against the nearest appliance.

  “We’re fucking against the fridge?” I asked, arms and legs wrapped tightly around his body.

  “Yep.”

  “Haven’t done that before.”

  His smile was all teeth.

  Then he was pushing into me, the hard length of his cock stretching and claiming me. It was both grueling and delightful for everyone involved. I knew I wasn’t the only one who moaned. Adam was nice-sized. A good, decent, not-to-be-ignored sort of size. And he knew what to do with it. Something he was apparently only too pleased to once again prove by drawing out slowly before slamming back in. All of those little muscles inside of me trembled and spasmed around him, welcoming him home.

  No. This was just sex. Pure fucking. Nothing more.

  Forehead resting against my shoulder, his chest worked furiously to take in air. “Jill. Jesus, baby.”

  “It feels good,” I allowed, voice breathy.

  “Yeah.” He laughed, looking up at me. In all honesty, he did smell damn good. The scent of fresh sweat on his skin got me high. All of the heat and hardness of him, centered in on me, was arousing as hell.

  With no further words, gaze locked on mine, he proceeded to nail me to the fridge. His pupils were dilated, the expression on his face determined. Hips working hard, his dick embedding itself deep inside me with each and every thrust. I’d have bruises tomorrow from the hard grip of his hands. Just how I liked.

  And while he might have been trying to prove something, his excitement and vigor was his undoing. With his pelvis working against me, his whole body taut, he growled and came. God, I loved that, feeling his cock jerk inside of me. The way his whole body responded when he came. Eyelids slammed shut, he ground himself against me, finishing with his face hidden in my neck, something he’d done since the first time we were together. Like it was too much, too revealing, too…everything.

  “I’m sorry,” he eventually said when he’d gotten his breath back.

  “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

  “I wanted to make you come again. Instead I lost it like a goddamn kid.”

  “You can make me come again later. I’m a giver like that.” I chuckled, threading my hands through his hair. Talk about proprietorial. Truth was, once I started touching him, it was damn hard to stop. I ran my fingers over his shoulders, down the length of his spine—or as far as I could reach. Did it need to be mentioned that there wasn’t an inch of him I didn’t want to touch? Not that it was a big deal or anything. So I might have been behaving in a slightly clingy fashion for a moment, it was just the old post-coital bliss haze. Memories making me maudlin and romantic or something. The allure of feeling close to someone. And I did feel close to him. Scarily so. “I need to use the bathroom.”

  “Right,” he said. As if I was made of spun glass, he set my feet gently on the floor. Next, he put himself away and pulled up his jeans. His mouth opened, but for the longest time, no words came out. “There’s some um better shampoo and stuff in the cabinet under the sink if you want to have a bath or a shower or…you know.”

  “There is, huh?”

  A nod.

  With much awkwardness, we both stood there staring at each other. At the floor. At a wall. It was all greatly fascinating and not a form of avoidance at all. I crossed my hands over my breasts. So stupid given I remained buck-ass naked in my ex’s apartment after just having sex.

  “Can I come?” he asked.

  “You just did.”

  “I meant can I accompany you to the bathroom or do you want some space?”

  In days of yore, we had indeed showered together often after conjugal bliss. And despite it not necessarily feeling like a good idea, us spending more one-on-one time together without our clothes and all, I couldn’t actually think of the right way to say as much in the allotted time. “Sure. That’s fine. Whatever.”

  He gave me a look most dubious. But when I about-faced and headed in the direction of the bathroom, he did indeed follow. I could totally feel his eyes on my ass, too. He followed me all the way to the door, where he abruptly halted. “I’ll give you your space. You need anything, I’ll just be out here.”

  “Alright.”

  “Use whatever you want. Make yourself at home.”

  I nodded.

  “I know this is weird. But I want it to be a good weird.”

  I had no idea what to say to that. Actually, that was a lie. “Was that belated break-up sex?”

  “I honestly have no idea.” His expression was calm, face relaxed as he seemed to think it over. “Maybe?”

  “Right. Okay.” And with a little finger wave, I shut the door in his face.

  A wise woman who learned from her past mistakes would have been out the door pronto. I apparently was not a wise woman. Because instead of getting my heart and ass a safe distance away, say the other side of the city, once I’d tidied myself up and let him take his turn in the bathroom, I located his broom and dustpan and brush and cleaned up the hair clippings. So I was a little OCD when it came to messes. Might have been why he drove me nuts in the first place. Though his apartment was certainly neat enough now. At any rate, I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye. But me departing sometime soon would definitely be for the best. Before things got even more confusing. Since my head was already dizzy with facts and feelings, it was hard to see how things could get more confusing. But, anyway.

  Which was about when my cell went crazy. Texts and notifications lit up my screen. The first few were from close friends, followed by a few randoms from my past. All of them should have been in bed at this hour. Though it was Saturday night/Sunday morning.

  “What’s going on?” Adam asked, wandering out of the bedroom in a fresh pair of black jeans and a t-shirt. Freshly washed and wet hair hung down over his shoulders. The harried, haggard shadows around his eyes and face from earlier in the evening had disappeared almost completely. Sexual healing, presumably. It was irritating how easy he made looking like a walking, talking dream seem. He’d been made for gracing billboards and magazine covers, really. Also, he smelled magnificent after his shower. It was a real test of my strength not to stick my nose in his neck again. Sad but true.

  I sat on the couch with my feet tucked up underneath me, trying to get a grip on the goings-on of the internet. Stunned was a good word. Followed quickly by baffled. “Someone identified me from the pictures taken downstairs.”

  “Shit.” Any happy or calm disappeared from his face. “I’m sorry, Jill.”

  “I-it’s okay.”

  He tipped his chin. “That didn’t sound believable at all.”

  “What can I say?” I asked. “You’re famous. Living in denial about it hasn’t gotten me far. I guess I’ll have to learn to deal with it. It’s just that the songs were mostly you being a big deal from afar. These photos are…different. Oh good, they grabbed some shots off social media of me. Because I look amazing with my mouth open mid-sentence and my eyes half-closed. I told Ana not to post that photo. Ugh.”

  He sat down next to me, stretching his arms across the back of the couch.

  I slid my finger across the screen, scrolling through the most
hastily put-together nonsense article I’d ever seen in my life. “You’re being painted as the hero. You valiantly came to my rescue after I had a meltdown due to our breakup. So, this is good press for you.”

  “Except that we broke up a year ago.”

  “Yeah. Wow. I sound so fragile and pathetic.”

  A grunt from him.

  “I mean, they’re not completely wrong. I was upset because of you. However, no mental breakdown is currently occurring as far as I’m aware. You’re off the hook there.”

  His brows drew in tight. “Not sure if I should apologize again or what.”

  “Oh excellent, some commenters believe I’m a money-hungry ho. Little do they know, huh?”

  “Fuck’s sake. Don’t read the comments. Rule number one in dealing with the internet: never let that crap take up room inside your skull. It leads to nowhere good.”

  “Oh, wait! Now they’re hoping that I’ll sex you and leave you again, resulting in another great album.” My laughter was a brittle broken thing. “I’m so glad our emotional trauma entertains them.”

  Adam said a whole lot of nothing and scratched at his jawline.

  “At least she’s trying to put a positive spin on things, I guess.” I scrolled on. “This guy says I’m a toxic bitch while he’d make you happy and treat you right. Might want to reach out for his number.”

  “Baby?”

  “Hmm?” I looked up to find Adam wearing a pained if patient expression. “What?”

  “Put the cell down.”

  I slowly did as I was told. That he’d called me baby would be ignored in totality.

  “These are complete strangers casting judgement on shit they know nothing about,” he said. “They don’t know you or me. They don’t know anything about us, okay?”

  My fingers fidgeted in my lap, picking at my cuticles, a sure sign of nerves. “I’ve never made headlines before.”

  “Yeah. Well…unfortunately it’s a side effect of getting to play my music.” He sighed. “Since it’s making news, they’ll probably hang outside for a while, hoping to get another shot. Might be best if you stayed here for a bit…”

  “Maybe.”

  “Thanks for cleaning up after the haircut.” He reached out, sliding his hand over mine. I needed the contact more than I was willing to admit. Instant internet infamy was kind of nerve-wracking. His skin was so warm. The calluses on his fingers were so familiar. “I would have done it.”

  “Not a big deal.” I shrugged, letting him hold my hand. Because I was a damn fool. “So what do you want to do? Watch TV, play guitar, do some gaming, have another nap, what?”

  “Whatever you want. I’m just happy you’re here.”

  “Adam…”

  “Am I not supposed to say that?” he asked, shuffling closer. “Martha has one rule.”

  “Wait. Martha? Your manager?”

  “That’s right. If she works her ass off to give me an opportunity, then I’m not allowed to waste it.”

  Oh, boy. “Ha.”

  “This is me not wasting my chance with you.”

  “I wouldn’t say the woman worked her ass off to get me into your car. I was willing—to a certain degree. Also, this is about you and me and doesn’t involve your manager. Stop looking at me that way.”

  “What way?”

  “Adam,” I growled.

  “You know, I’d kind of forgotten how good we were together.”

  “Had you now?”

  “Figured I was just putting a shine on old memories or something,” he said, moving a little closer. “Or that I was gauging the strength of the relationship off the heartache when you left, instead of really remembering what it was like when we were together. But being inside of you is sweet perfection.”

  “Stop it. We’re not…let’s not talk about the sex.”

  “Okay. Let’s talk about you being here then. About us spending time together.”

  I wrinkled my nose. “Adam, you hated talking about our relationship and now that we don’t even have one, you want to discuss things?”

  The side of his lip curled up in a beguiling half-smile. “Sure. Why not?”

  “I think my brain is about to explode.”

  “You know, not all of those internet comments should be ignored.”

  “Hmm?” I cocked my head, both bewildered and way overstimulated.

  “Break my heart again, Jill.” His sweet sexy smile made my heart hurt. Damn the man. “C’mon. I dare you.”

  Chapter Four

  “That’s not funny.”

  Adam watched me, calm as could be. “I’m not joking.”

  I shook my head. “I get that you’re lonely, but—”

  “No. Think about it,” he said, tone adamant. “I’m not over you, that’s the truth. Not even remotely. It’s been a year, and every song is still about you. About us. Even the stuff I’m writing now. No other woman has gotten to me like you do. Tonight has made me realize I have no interest in moving on, and I think maybe deep down, you’re feeling that way too.”

  “This may shock and stun you, but I haven’t spent the last twelve months dragging my ass around being the sad girl over you.” I laughed. And it was mostly true. Mostly.

  “Not what I’m saying.”

  “Then what are you saying?”

  He sat up straighter and stared me in the eye. “Jill, I’m better than I was. Let me show you.”

  “Really? Seems to me you’re still hiding out in bars and making it all about the music. Which hey, it’s paying off for you, and that’s great. But what on earth makes you think now is the time to try and start or re-start something?” I sighed. “You’re about to go to Europe, for heaven’s sake. Shouldn’t you be focusing on that?”

  “Come with me.”

  Mouth hanging open and eyes wide, I couldn’t have been more stunned if I tried. “W-what?”

  “Come with me,” he repeated. “It’s a paid job. My hair needs you.”

  I snorted.

  “You always wanted to travel. Here’s your chance.”

  “I can’t just—”

  “You can. Think about it. An all-expenses-paid trip that’ll help develop you professionally in a new area too.” He grinned. “C’mon, this is a great idea, stop making excuses.”

  “Stop trying to push me,” I said. “I’m not sure I want to just up and leave everything on your say-so.”

  “It’ll all be waiting for you when you come back.”

  I took a deep breath. “Adam, I know you’re lonely, but this is a big deal for me. I have a job and an apartment and a life here. What if you change your mind and decide that having me around isn’t the constant party you seem to think it’ll be?”

  “You still hate your manager?”

  I lifted one shoulder. “Sort of.”

  “They still overworking and underpaying you?”

  “Y-e-a-h.”

  “That won’t happen with me. Martha will find out what a good wage is for this sort of gig and all of your expenses will be taken care of.”

  My mouth hung open. He was serious. Deadly so.

  “You never did like the neighborhood the apartment is in either. I’ll pay out the lease, or you can with that check. Get a place you like better once we get back.”

  I frowned. He had a point about the neighborhood.

  “Thing is, this industry is all about the ups and downs. I may not always be in a position to offer you this.”

  “Your fans love you.”

  “No, they love the latest rock star, that’s all. They love Adam Dillon, whose songs are on everybody’s lips. They love what happened to me. What I did and what I turned into. But that’s not me. And it’s not forever.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “And this isn’t about me being lonely,” he tacked on.

  “Are you sure about that?”

  “If anything, being on tour will mean having more people around. It’ll be tiring and busy as all hell, schlepping our asses all over the
countryside. But it won’t be lonely.”

  “Then what is it about?”

  “It’s about making our dreams come true. Me playing my music and you getting to travel. Both of us seeing new places and experiencing new things. This is a fucking great idea.”

  “And we’re doing this together?”

  “Yes. Together. Would that really be so bad?”

  Head buzzing, I faced him. “I honestly don’t know.”

  “We can just do it as friends if you want. Or as employer and employee. Whatever you like.”

  “Holy shit,” I mumbled, eyes wide. “Are you actually subtly suggesting, in a roundabout manner, that you want to get back together?”

  The man just shrugged. “We don’t have to rush into anything. But it’s not a totally bad idea. I mean, we had some good times. We worked well together for a while. Would getting back together honestly be so bad?”

  “Holy shit.”

  “You already said that.”

  “Yeah, well it bears repeating.” I rubbed at my temples. “My brain is overloaded. I’m surprised gory mush isn’t leaking out of my ears. Before today, we hadn’t even talked for almost a year. And now this.”

  He waved a hand in an oh-well fashion.

  “I think you’re thinking the sex was deep and emotional and imbued with meaning when it wasn’t necessarily any of that.”

  “Baby, it was a quick fuck against the fridge.”

  “Exactly.”

  “I’ll make up for that later if you’ll let me. In the meantime, we were discussing something else that I find to be both deep and emotional.”

  “You’ve lost your mind.” I massaged my throbbing temples some more. “The fame has gone to your head. You can’t honestly think us getting back together is a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  “Where to start…”

  “Jill, tell me honestly, has a single day gone by when you haven’t thought of me?” He reached out, cupping my cheek in his big warm hand. “Because I know I never stopped thinking about you. That’s the truth of it.”

  Nothing from me.

  “I know you like having shit under control, but let’s just roll the dice for once and see what happens. Give me a chance to make everything up to you.”