Deep Page 2

  Bitter grumbling from Mal.

  Ev just shook her head. "Wow. Hemorrhaging Otter. That's certainly unique."

  "What do you think, babe?" Jimmy turned to Lena.

  "That's disgusting. I think I'm going to throw up." The woman swallowed hard, her face going gray. "I mean, I think I really am."

  Huh. And also, ugh, I knew that feeling.

  "Shit." Jimmy started rubbing her back with frantic motions.

  Without a word, I pressed my spare plastic puke bag into her hand. Solidarity among sisters, etcetera.

  "Thanks," she said, happily too preoccupied to ask why I'd had it in my pocket in the first place.

  "She had some stomach bug before Christmas." With his spare hand, Jimmy filled Lena's glass with water and passed it to her. "Keeps messing with her."

  I froze.

  "I thought it had gone," said Lena.

  "You're going to have to go to the doctor. Enough excuses, we're not that busy." Jimmy planted a soft kiss on the side of her face. "Tomorrow, yeah?"

  "Okay."

  "Sounds wise," said Anne, patting my rigid shoulder.

  Holy hell.

  "You've been sick too, Lizzy?" asked Lena.

  "You should both try some green tea with ginger in it," a voice reported from the other side of the table.

  Female.

  Damn, it was her. His date.

  "Ginger creates warmth and helps to settle an upset stomach. What other symptoms did you have?" she asked, causing me to immediately sink down in my seat.

  Ben cleared his throat. "Sasha's a naturopath."

  "I thought you said she was a dancer," said Anne, her face screwing up ever so slightly.

  "A burlesque performer," the woman corrected. "I do both."

  Yeah, I had nothing.

  A chair scraped against the floor, and then Sasha was standing, peering down at me. Any hopes of avoiding and/or ignoring her presence fled the scene. Bettie Page hair done a vibrant blue, very cool. Christ, did she have to look like she actually had a clue? A bimbo I could handle, but not this. The woman was beautiful and smart, and I was just a dumb kid who'd gone and gotten herself knocked up. Cue the violins.

  I smiled grimly. "Hi."

  "Any other symptoms?" she repeated, gaze moving between me and Lena.

  "She's been tired a lot too," said Jimmy. "Passes out in front of the TV all the time."

  "True." Lena frowned.

  "Lizzy, you said you'd missed some school, didn't you?" asked Anne.

  "Some," I admitted, not liking the direction this grilling was taking. Time for a smooth segue. "Anyway, how are the plans for the tour going? You guys must all be so excited. I'd be excited. Have you started packing yet, Anne?"

  My sister just blinked at me.

  "No?" Maybe a sudden outburst of verbal diarrhea wasn't the answer.

  "Hold up. Have you been sick, Liz?" Ben asked, his deep voice softening ever so slightly. Though maybe that was just my imagination.

  "Um..."

  "Maybe you got the same bug Lena's got," he said. "How much school have you missed?"

  My throat closed tight. I couldn't do it. Not here and now in front of everyone. I should have fled for the Yukon rather than come here tonight. No way was I ready for this.

  "Liz?"

  "No, I'm fine," I wheezed. "All good."

  "Um, hello," said Anne. "You said you'd been nauseous for the last few weeks. If I hadn't been away I'd have dragged you to the doctor's way back."

  And thank god she'd been on her second honeymoon with Mal in Hawaii. To have found out about the bean with Anne in attendance would have been up there with watching the four horseman of the apocalypse riding into town. Terror, tears, chaos--all of these things and more. Definitely not my idea of a good time.

  The date, Sasha, fixed her inquiring gaze to the ever so subtly still gagging Lena.

  "Did anyone else get this?" she asked.

  "I don't think so." Anne looked up and down the table, taking in the various shaking of heads. "Just Lena and Lizzy."

  "We've been fine," said Ev.

  "Weird," said Anne. "Liz and Lena haven't been around each other since the wedding. That's over two months ago now."

  Murmurs of agreement.

  My heartbeat raced. Mine and the bean's both.

  "Well, I think they should both take a pregnancy test," announced Sasha, retaking her seat.

  A moment's stunned silence.

  "What?" I spluttered, panic coursing through me. Not here, not now, and sure as fuck not this way. Bile burned my throat, but I swallowed it back down, fumbling for the second puke bag.

  Ben's brow wrinkled and there were startled coughs and gasps from others.

  But before anyone could comment, a strange screechy noise came from Lena.

  "No," she cried, voice very high and very determined. "No, I am not. You take that back."

  The back-rubbing by Jimmy went berserk. "Baby, calm down."

  She didn't. Instead, she pointed a shaking finger at the now very unwelcome stranger in our midst. "You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. I don't know, maybe you've taken a hit to the head from one of those big fancy dancing fans lately or something. Whatever. But you ... you couldn't be more wrong."

  "Okay, let's calm down a little." Ben raised his hands in protest.

  Sasha kept quiet.

  "Lizzy?" My sister's fingers dug into my shoulder, bruisingly tight. "There's no chance, right? I mean, you know better than that. You wouldn't be so stupid."

  My mouth opened, but nothing came out.

  Suddenly, Lena clutched at her belly. "Jimmy, in your car outside my sister's wedding. We didn't use anything."

  "I know," he said quietly, perfect face white as snow. "Time we fucked against the door, night before you left. We forgot then too."

  "Yeah."

  "Your tits have been really sensitive." With one hand, Jimmy scrubbed at his mouth. "And you were complaining your dress wouldn't do up the other day."

  "I thought it was just pie."

  They both stared at one another while everyone looked on. I was pretty damn certain they'd long since forgotten they had an audience for all these intimate details. As dinner entertainment went, this had turned into one hell of a drama, and oh god, the horror of it. My head started to turn in dizzy circles.

  "Lizzy?" Anne asked again.

  Okay, this wasn't good. I really and truly shouldn't have come. But how the hell was I to know Ben would bring along a gynecological psychic? The edges of my vision blurred, my lungs working overtime. I couldn't get enough air. Not to sound paranoid, but I bet that Sasha bitch had stolen it all. Never mind. The important thing was not to panic.

  Maybe I should jump out a window.

  "Liz," a voice said. A different one this time, deep and strong.

  However I'd imagined me and Ben having this talk, it was nothing like this. Not tonight, before I'd even processed it myself. Time to go.

  "Lizzy?"

  Also, wow, if this was the result of having great sex then I was so never going there again. Not even for mediocre sex. Nothing. I might even rule out masturbation, just in case. You couldn't be too careful. Random attack sperm could be anywhere, just waiting to get a girl into trouble.

  I stumbled to my feet, sweaty hands on the table to steady myself. "I should go."

  "Hey." A big hand cupped my chin. Lines had appeared between Ben's brows, beside his mouth. But you could only see the hint of them behind his beard, the implication. The man was not happy, and fair enough. "It's okay, Liz. We'll get this sorted--"

  "I'm pregnant."

  A pause. "What?"

  "I'm pregnant, Ben."

  The ensuing silence echoed in my ears, an endless gray noise like something out of a horror movie.

  Ben stood bent over the table, breathing heavy. I guess I'd looked to him for strength, but now he seemed every bit as strung out as me.

  "You're pregnant?" Anne's voice cut the silence. "L
izzy, look at me."

  I did, though it wasn't easy. My chin didn't seem inclined to go in the desired direction, and who could blame it?

  "Yes," I said. "I am."

  She went horribly still.

  "I'm sorry."

  "How could you? Oh god." For a moment she squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them again. "And why were you telling him?"

  "Good question." Ever so slowly, Mal rose from his seat and started walking down the other side of the table. "Why'd she tell you, Benny?"

  "Liz and I need to talk." Ben's gaze skipped to Mal, his hand falling from my face. "Man."

  "You didn't," said Mal, his voice low and lethal as the tension in the room took an entirely new turn for the worse.

  "Calm down."

  "Told you stay away from her. Didn't I? She's my girl's kid sister for Christ's sake."

  Ben stood tall. "I can explain."

  "Shit," muttered David.

  "No. No, you can't, Benny. I fucking asked you to leave her alone, bro. You promised me she'd be off-limits."

  Past Ben, David Ferris got to his feet, as did Jimmy at the end of the table. It was all happening so fast.

  Ben's date, Sasha, the burlesque dancer with the blue hair, seemed to finally understand the shit storm she'd unleashed with her most excellent announcement. Perhaps she wasn't so psychic after all. "We should leave. Ben?"

  He didn't even look at her, his gaze glued to Mal.

  "You're like a brother to me, Benny. One of my closest friends. But she's my little sister now. Tell me you didn't go there."

  "Mal, man--"

  "Not after you gave me your word. You wouldn't do that, not to me."

  "Dude, calm down," said David, moving up to try and get between the two. "Let's talk about this."

  Ben was almost a head taller than Mal, definitely bigger, stronger. It didn't matter. With a battle cry, Mal launched himself at the man. They fell together onto the floor, rolling and wrestling, fists flying. It was a mess. I jumped to my feet, mouth hanging open. Someone screamed, a woman. The rich copper scent of blood hit the air and the urge to hurl was almost overwhelming, but there wasn't time for that.

  "No!" I yelled. "Don't, please."

  I'd done this, so it was up to me to fix it. I got a knee up on the table before hands grasped my arms, holding me back no matter how I fought.

  "Mal, no!"

  David and Jimmy tore Mal off of Ben, dragging the struggling man back across the room.

  "I'm going to fucking kill you," Mal hollered, his face a mixture of reds from fury and blood. "Let me go!"

  More blood dripped from beneath Ben's nose, trailing down his chin. But he made no move to stop it. Slowly, the big man got to his feet, and the look on his face tore me in two.

  "You said you wouldn't chase after her."

  "He didn't," I shouted, still standing on one foot with a knee on the table and Anne's hand on my arm. "He didn't want anything to do with me. I chased after him. It was all me. I'm sorry."

  Silence fell and I was surrounded by stunned faces. And a couple of still-bleeding ones.

  "I practically stalked him. He never stood a chance."

  "What?" Mal scowled, one eyelid swelling at an alarming rate.

  "It's my fault, not Ben's. I'm the one who did it."

  "Liz." With a heavy sigh, Ben hung his head.

  The fingers on my arm gave a small tug. I turned to face my sister.

  "Explain this to me."

  CHAPTER ONE

  FOUR MONTHS AGO

  Good girls don't fall for rock stars. It just isn't done.

  "Pumpkin! PUUUMP-KIN!"

  "Oh god." My sister, the aforementioned Pumpkin, giggled.

  I just gaped. It seemed to be my go-to look of the day.

  Lord knows, I'd been wearing it ever since letting myself into Anne's apartment this morning. Because I lived on campus, we'd starting doing brunch every Sunday morning since moving to Portland a few years back. It was our sisterly thing. But instead of standing ready to serve the bacon and eggs this morning, I'd found, Anne was fast asleep on top of a tattooed stud on the sofa. Both of them mostly clothed, thank god.

  But, wow, what a revelation. I mean, I didn't even know Anne dated. I'd thought me dragging her along to the occasional party on campus was the sum total of her social life.

  "C'mon, woman," said Mal, her brand-spanking-new boyfriend. "We can't be late to practice or Davie'll get his panties in a wad. You have no idea what drama queens guitarists can be. I swear, last week he threw a total hissy fit just 'cause he broke a string. Started screaming and throwing shit at people. True story."

  "That is not a true story," admonished Anne, shaking her head. "David is a perfectly nice guy. Stop trying to scare Lizzy."

  "No-o-o." Mal gave her big innocent puppy eyes, even going so far as to bat his eyelashes. "You think I would lie to Lizzy, my sweet little future sister-in-law?"

  Anne just shook her head. "Are we going in or what?"

  "Can't believe you doubted me, Pumpkin."

  We followed the manic blond drummer into a big old building down by the river. As good a place for a loud rock band to practice as any. The only neighbors were industrial buildings, abandoned for the weekend. Inside wasn't any warmer, but at least we were out of the bone-chilling October wind. I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my gray woolen coat, nervous now that we were actually about to meet them. My sole interactions with the rich and famous started this morning with Mal. If the rest of the band was anything like him, I'd never keep up.

  "As if anyone could doubt me. That hurt bad," he said. "Apologize."

  "Sorry."

  Mal smacked a noisy kiss on her cheek. "You're forgiven. Later."

  Stretching his fingers and rotating his wrists, the man bounded off toward the stage assembled at one end. Instruments, amps, and other sound gear covered it and the surrounding area, with roadies and sound techs busy amid it all.

  It was fascinating, this, him, and my whole damn morning. Mal and Anne seemed so in tune with each other. Perhaps Anne and I had been a touch too hasty in our dismissal of romantic love and affection. So it hadn't worked out for our parents. Hell, those two had pretty much made a mockery of commitment and marriage. Mal and Anne might yet make a far better case study.

  Fascinating.

  "He's borderline insane by the way," I said quietly. "So manic."

  "Yeah. Isn't he great?" She grinned.

  I nodded, because anyone who could make her smile so bright clearly must be. The light of hope in her eyes, the happiness, it was beautiful.

  And the man in question? None other than Malcolm Ericson, drummer for worldwide renowned rock group Stage Dive, had somehow shacked up with my sister. My quiet, calm, color-within-the-lines-or-else sister. Anne was being vague about the details, but the facts remained the same. Her new boyfriend stunned me stupid. Perhaps someone had slipped something into my coffee back on campus. It would certainly explain all of the crazy.

  "Can't believe you told him about me crushing on him when I was a kid." Ever so gently, Anne elbowed me in the side.

  I grunted in pain.

  "Thanks for that," she said.

  "You're welcome. What else are sisters for?"

  We wandered toward the couple of women sitting on storage boxes at the back of the hall. So cool, getting to see the band practice. Anne had truly been the psycho fan, plastering her bedroom wall with posters of Stage Dive. Mostly of Mal, making today's dating revelation all the more holy hell. But if anyone deserved some amazing, mind-blowing good to come their way, it was my sister. I couldn't begin to tell you how much she'd given up to get us this far.

  The blond woman smiled in greeting as we got closer, but the curvy brunette just kept playing with her cell.

  "Hello, fellow Stage Dive groupies and hanger-onners. How is your Sunday morning?" the blonde asked.

  "Good," said Anne. "How are you feeling, Mrs. Ferris?"

  "I am feeling very, very married, tha
nk you for asking. How are you and Mal doing?"

  "Ah, good. All good." Anne joined them, sitting on one of the boxes. "This is my sister, Lizzy. She goes to school at PSU. Lizzy this is Ev, David's wife, and Lena, Jimmy's..."

  "Assistant. Hi." Lena gave me a small smile and chin tip.

  "Hi." I waved.

  "Nice to meet you," said Ev. "Anne, quickly before they start playing. Tell me the story of you and Malcolm. I still haven't heard how you got together, exactly. But Lauren mentioned he basically invaded your apartment."

  Back at her apartment, I'd overheard an odd argument between her and Mal. Something about them having an "agreement." When I questioned her she'd basically told me to butt out, in her own sweet way. I could only take her word that all was well, and try not to worry. Still, the question and Anne's reaction to it interested me greatly. I ever so subtly shuffled a little closer.

  The whites of Anne's eyes flashed. "Ah, well, we met at your place the other night and hit it off."

  "That's it?" asked Ev.

  "Yes, that's pretty much it." Anne's smile wavered only slightly. "What is this, Ev, a grilling?"

  "Yes, this is a grilling. Give me more information, please?"

  "He's really great and yes, he kind of moved himself in with me. But I love having him there. He's wonderful, you know?"

  So they weren't going to get any more out of her than I had. No big surprise. Anne tended to be tight lipped, a private person.

  The girls kept on talking.

  Up on the stage only the band members now remained, the rest moving off to the side to play with various bits of equipment. They stood gathered around Mal and his drum kit, deep in conversation. So this must be the band. Jeans and T-shirts seemed to be the go-to, scruffy cool hairdos and lots of tats. One of them stood a good half a head taller than the rest, and the rest were not tiny. This guy must be a giant. And it'll sound crazy, but there was just something about the way he stood, the solidity of him. Mountains had never seemed so strong and imposing. Big boots several feet apart and a hand wrapped high around the neck of his bass guitar as if he might swing it club style at any moment to subdue some stray bear. The thick width of his shoulders and the ink on his muscular arms made my fingers itch with the need to explore. It couldn't have been healthy, but I'm pretty damn sure my heart skipped a beat. Every inch of me vibrated with some sort of hyper, crazy sexual tension courtesy of his presence. Never before had just the sight of a man made me go so gaga.