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  Ada whimpered, then changed her mind and gave a rebel yell. After this came a small, brief smile.

  "I better go," I said.

  "Or you could join us for breakfast too?" asked Leah hesitantly.

  "That's real kind of you, but I have work later. Need to get some sleep first."

  "Another time."

  "Definitely, that'd be great." Maybe. We'd see. Had to give the woman points for trying, though. Then Jean gave me a smile. One of those we've-got-a-secret-and-it's-really-damn-good kind of smiles. I fucking loved those. Or liked. Just really strongly liked them. Also, she probably shouldn't be doing that in front of her parents. Heh. Whatever.

  "Nice to meet you, Eric," said Leah.

  "You too." I gave both her and her husband a nod, grabbed my things, and got gone.

  Great sex. Amazing, as Jean had said. But what a hell of a morning.

  Also, I needed some sleep.

  *

  "Yeah, but who is your favorite in the band? It's me, right? It's okay to be honest. I deal well with adulation."

  Jean opened her mouth, then closed it again with a small frown, looking kind of overwhelmed. It seemed to be a common feeling when it came to this sort of situation. The guys, the mansion, the whole damn thing would be kind of huge if you hadn't seen it all before.

  "Leave her alone, man," I said, holding Ada on my lap.

  "Shh," said Mal, the owner of the insanely large log cabin-style mansion. "This is important. Don't interfere. I want her honest, unbiased, me-centric opinion."

  Sitting over on the floor, playing blocks with his daughters, Jimmy Ferris shook his head. How the dark-haired bastard always managed to look like he'd just stepped off the cover of GQ magazine, I had no idea. If only I had his money to burn on suits and shit. That would be cool. Instead, bills, savings, and real-life shit came first. Sadly.

  "Ever since he got less screen time than me in the Stage Dive documentary he's been like this," said Jimmy. "So insecure it's pathetic."

  "That is not true," said Mal, pushing his long blond hair back from his face. "Take it back, Jimbo."

  "This is the problem with rock stars," I said quietly to Jean. "Delicate yet enormous egos. I'm surprised their skulls don't explode from the pressure. Man, you're in a world-famous band. Have a little dignity."

  "I'm dignified. See if I let you stay in my beach house again." Mal sniffed. "Hey, Zeny. You love Uncle Mal best, right?"

  One of the dark-headed little girls had left the game of blocks to give the drummer a cuddle. Mostly, I think it was pity. Mal wrapped her up in his arms, lifting her off her feet for a moment. Except her sister, Stephanie, took that moment to come up behind Zeny and clumsily tickle her. Next came much screaming, making Ada start in surprise. The two girls then ran off down a hallway. Who exactly was chasing who was kind of hard to tell.

  "And I thought you were loud," I told Ada.

  Jimmy barked out a laugh. "You haven't heard anything yet. Their lungs get bigger and it's like ... Jesus, I don't even know how to describe it. Some days we'd give anything for a mute button. Even for just a few minutes' peace. When they go to bed and everything's quiet, it's heaven. But when they're going hammer and tongs, it's like a rock band with too many drummers."

  "Hey, what?" protested Mal, apparently trying to work out if he was meant to be offended. "Too many drummers? How is such a thing even possible?"

  "At least they're big enough to understand some things now. We can occasionally reason with them." Lena rose from another grouping of couches, a glass of wine in her hand.

  "You mean kids or drummers?" chimed in Jimmy.

  "The toddler years are hard," Lena continued, ignoring him. "All of those tantrums over god only knows what. Speaking of which, I'd better go find the girls before they break something."

  "Thanks, babe," said Jimmy.

  Lena blew him a kiss.

  Beside me on the probably billion-dollar leather couch, Jean still had a lot of white showing in her eyes. Guess we should have given her more warning. Only Nell thought it would be funny to just spring meeting the guys on her. To be fair, it kind of was. Jean had done little but stutter and stare for the first while. Apart from when she thumped me in the arm for not warning her. But it was a friendly thump, a loving one almost. I could tell.

  "I still can't believe you went to school with Stage Dive," she said. "I mean, I'd heard they came from Coeur d'Alene, but still..."

  "It was only forty-three more seconds of screen time," bitched Mal.

  "Let it go," said David from over by the massive fireplace.

  "Easy for you to say. You got way more close-ups than me."

  Anne came up behind her husband, placing her hands on his shoulders and proceeding to massage. "Mal, we talked about this."

  "I know, I know."

  "Let's just enjoy our time with our friends, okay?"

  He sighed unhappily. "Fine. It was a stupid documentary anyway."

  "Hear it's up for some awards," said Ben with a smile. "Isn't that great?"

  Anne swore quietly under her breath.

  There were a bunch of couches and armchairs set up around the space. Floor-to-ceiling windows looked over the lake and a roaring fireplace. It was all pretty damn spectacular and the turnout had been good. All of the Stage Dive crew including their significant others. Nell and Pat, Andre, and Vaughan and Lydia. Taka, Rosie, and Boyd and Co. were running the Dive Bar in our absence. It might take a few more years for me to get used to having kids running around during our rare get-togethers, however. Each time, seeing everyone getting a little older, a bit more mature.

  "Besides," Mal chirped up, "every minute of my screen time is worth ten minutes of anyone else's."

  Except for Mal, the idiot, of course.

  "Well, I agree every minute of your screen time feels like about ten minutes," Jimmy shot back.

  And maybe Jimmy. Though beneath his needling of Mal, he seemed a lot more relaxed in his own skin since he and Lena had gotten together. Speaking of which, still no sign of her or the twins. Beside the bass player, Ben, sat a young boy playing games on a tablet. The kid was totally engrossed. Couldn't help but wonder what Ada would be like in a few years, running around yelling her head off like a wild child or sitting quietly lost in her own little world? It'd be amazing to watch her grow. Not that she didn't have her own personality from the start. But to see her get bigger, to hear her first words, and see her first steps maybe.

  "Didn't think I'd ever see you going all gaga about a baby." Mal smirked and took a sip of his beer.

  I shrugged. "Just happened. Hey, Ada?"

  She kicked her feet in reply, little hands clinging to my fingers.

  "I think it's lovely," said Anne, giving Mal a pat on the head.

  "I've changed diapers. I've dealt with babies." Mal grimaced. "Between Jimmy and Ben setting their sperm free, we've got enough kids running around."

  Anne sighed. "Quit bitching about it. We're having one after the next tour is over and that's that."

  "Fine. If only to prove our progeny would be even better looking than the rest." He leaned his head back, drawing Anne down for a kiss. "We might need to have a couple of them. You know how competitive the rest of the guys are. We'll need to keep up."

  "Sounds good," said Anne, rubbing her cheek against his.

  "In the meantime, lots of practice, pumpkin. Every day, morning and night."

  "Got it."

  "Hours' worth of practice," he continued. "We need to attack this like we're training for the Olympics. The sex Olympics. We'll even video some, watch it for quality-control purposes. Give ourselves ratings. I'll always score a ten, though. Actually, probably eleven."

  "Jesus," I muttered. "Can you two lovebirds go talk about your weird sex life in private?"

  Anne laughed.

  "No," said Mal. "But thank you for asking."

  I did a quick check for any kids, then covered Ada's eyes and flipped him the bird.

  "I know," said th
e blond drumming idiot. "Let's discuss your sex life instead. It'll keep things even. Eric's letting you down in all ways, right, Jean?"

  Jean just blinked.

  I looked to heaven for help. Because despite what Mal might think, he wasn't in fact God. No help, however, was forthcoming.

  "It's okay, you're among friends," he continued. "Eric's a complete disappointment to you, isn't he? You find yourself falling asleep mid-action, things like that?"

  "Enough," said Anne, taking the beer off Mal and having a swig herself. "Stop talking now."

  "But I want Jean to feel supported."

  Lips tight, Anne shook her head.

  "Plus, we probably need to find out now if people ever actually manage to have sex again after a baby," said Mal, looking around the room. "You'll notice neither Jimmy and Lena nor Ben and Lizzy have gotten pregnant again. What if after a baby everything just stops working? We need to find this sort of shi ... um, stuff out."

  "You just moved here last year, Jean?" asked Anne, ignoring her husband.

  "Yes." Jean latched onto the change of subject. "I love Coeur d'Alene. It's such a pretty place."

  "It is. I always enjoy spending time here."

  "You're way off track there." Nell waddled over to join our group. "They're not together. No sex life to talk about."

  Head cocked, Mal narrowed his eyes.

  "It's the truth." Nell shrugged.

  I kept my gaze on the baby. Beside me, Jean fussed, hands fiddling with a rip in her jeans. Next she raised Ada's bib, wiping away a particularly spectacular line of drool.

  Mal cleared his throat loudly, and the hairs on the back of my neck leapt to attention. "Nell, my dear, how is it you're not sensing the chemistry between these two fine folk?"

  "Shut it," I said, voice low so as not to spook the baby. "None of this is any of your business and you're embarrassing Jean. She's never even met you before and you're acting like an ass."

  The easy smile fell from Mal's face. "Sorry, Jean. Didn't mean to make you feel awkward. Just Eric."

  "We've all known each other a long time," said Nell, hand on her lower back. "The gossiping can get a bit out of hand. Not that there's any gossip here to talk about."

  Mal muttered something.

  I swear to God, I could have killed him.

  "What did you say?" asked Nell.

  Pat came up behind her. His big tattooed hands cupped her belly. Thank fuck, someone with some sense had arrived. Now if he'd just pretend to faint or something to take all of this attention away from me and Jean. That would be great. Or he could cart Nell off to one of the rooms for some very careful sex or something. I didn't care. So long as this topic of conversation got buried.

  "What's going on?" he asked in his gravelly voice.

  The frown on Nell's face was epic. No amount of Botox could get those lines out. "Mal's just stirring things up, same as always. He's trying to insinuate something's going on between these two. Like Jean doesn't have better taste."

  And honestly, I'd kind of had enough. Of people sticking their noses into our business and of Nell thinking she was in charge. And apparently, I wasn't the only one.

  "Nell, I love you. You're like the sister I never had," said Jean, back straight and chin jutting out. "You have been nothing but kind and supportive to Ada and me. And I thank you for it. But you need to give Eric a break."

  Nell actually seemed taken aback for once, her brows high.

  "Also, what goes on between him and me is private." Jean exhaled. "That goes for everyone."

  Holy shit.

  Apparently the keeping it on the down low rule had changed. On my lap, Ada started fussing. Probably picking up on the tension or something. I lifted her up, holding her against my chest where she continued to grizzle and grumble. Fair enough. The whole conversation made me want to do a little of the same myself.

  "Hold up," said Nell, outrage in her voice. "Something is going on between you and him? Are you serious?"

  Holy shit.

  Jean said nothing.

  I sat very, very still.

  Nell, of course, was only getting started. "But I warned you about what he's--"

  "Babe," said Pat, gently trying to turn her to face him. "Let it go."

  "No, but--"

  He bent down, whispering in her ear, saying all sorts of things. Stuff about Jean being an adult and making her own decisions. How Nell had no business trying to keep Jean and me apart if we wanted to be together. And lastly, that Nell needed to forgive me and move on. All of the shit I would have liked to say, only anything I had to say, Nell didn't want to hear. Apparently, she didn't want to hear it from her husband either, because she stormed off down the hallway. Much like the twins had earlier only with less screaming. Pat followed quietly behind.

  And all the while, I rubbed Ada's back, trying to soothe us both. Honest to God, it felt like we were back in fucking high school. Everyone involved in everyone else's business.

  "Wow," said Mal. "That was intense."

  Anne ignored his comment, pasting a determined smile on her face. "Jean, would you mind helping me bring out the food?"

  "Sure," said Jean, getting to her feet. "Just let me heat up a bottle for Ada first. Eric, are you okay to give it to her?"

  "Yeah." I nodded.

  "I'll come too," offered Evelyn, dragging David behind her. Not that the guitarist seemed to mind. They were always holding hands as if they'd been surgically attached. Something that previously would have weirded me out. The constant touching and carrying on of couples. But now with Jean, I actually wouldn't mind some of the same. Without everyone else breathing down our necks, of course.

  The twins chose this moment to zoom back into the room, their mom following at a slightly more sedate pace. Lena looked puffed just the same, cheeks pink and breathing fast as if the two small girls had led her on one hell of a chase. She collapsed onto a couch, giving us all a smile. "Nothing broken. Or at least, I don't think they broke anything." Then she frowned. "What did I miss?"

  Every eye seemed to focus on me.

  "Nothing," I said.

  Silence. From everyone except Mal, of course.

  "Apparently Eric and Jean are doing the nasty. Not a surprise, right? The way those two look at each other ... I mean, there are children in the room. Now we just need to find someone pretty to mess with Andre's bachelor status," said Mal. Because, as I might have mentioned previously, he was an idiot. "Look at you, man. You silver fox, you."

  Andre just smiled. "I'm not holding a baby like Eric. Start with me and I can and will come over there and hurt you."

  Still sitting on the floor, Jimmy hid his laughter behind a cough. He didn't even bother to do it particularly well. Think I liked him even more for it.

  "I'll help," offered Ben.

  Mouth turned down, Mal sank into the corner of the sofa. "That's just rude is what that is."

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  "Sorry. That wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I asked if you'd like to come with."

  Jean looked up from where she was sorting out all of Ada's stuff on her kitchen table. The empty baby bottles were taken apart and set beside the sink, ready for washing. Next came a couple of dribble rags and a bib, followed by the bagged dirty nappies. "It's fine. I had a good time."

  Apparently these days I was too polite to call shit. But my brows rose just the same.

  "No, really," she said. "I did."

  "All right. What can I do to help?"

  "Grab a seat and keep me company." She filled the sink with hot soapy water and got busy cleaning the bottles, plastic nipples, and all those bits. Then they got placed in the microwave sterilizer thing.

  Like I'd sit while she still worked. I bustled around trying to find something to do. "Chuck these in the laundry bag in the bathroom?" I asked, picking up the rags and bib.

  "Thanks."

  Ada had conked out in the car on the drive home. She'd stirred when we lifted her out of the baby seat, but happi
ly drifted off again back in her crib. All of the noise, people, and excitement had been a lot for a little girl. After the revelation, Jean had taken her over to Nell for a cuddle and they'd talked for a while. Hopefully their friendship was okay. It would survive. Nell just had a tendency to believe she knew best when it came to the people she cared about. But Jean could make her own choices.

  And thank fuck she'd chosen me, even publicly, in front of everybody.

  Hard to tell if she wanted to talk about it all or not. It'd been one hell of a day. I was still catching up with the changes. What it all meant. If everyone knowing something was going on between Jean and me meant anything at all. To say nothing of the small fact about Nell knowing something was going on between us--and what wrath she might currently be plotting against me. God, trying to figure it out made my head hurt.

  While she popped the sterilizer into the microwave, I got rid of the bagged dirty diapers and then went and washed my hands. She finished up wiping down the counters and emptying the sink.

  "You want those put somewhere?" I asked, nodding at the baby bags.

  "Just in the corner over there, thanks."

  We worked in silence, sorting everything out. It was nice, peaceful, after all of the drama at Mal's place. Jean's apartment was pretty organized these days. Each week a little bit of her former control was being reclaimed, corner by corner, bench by bench, room by room. By now, everything was neat and tidy and in its place most of the time. We had that in common. Both of us liked our surroundings nice. How long it would last once Ada started crawling, we'd have to wait and see.

  "Are you hungry?" she asked.

  I shook my head. "You?"

  "No, not really. There was a lot of food."

  "Yeah, they have a habit of going overboard."

  She bit at the edge of her thumbnail. A definite nervous tell.

  "Want to tell me what's on your mind?"

  Back set to the kitchen counter, she groaned. "I guess I'm still a bit embarrassed that all of that came out while we were there. Not that I mind people knowing. It just seemed such a stupid thing to come out, given--" She broke off and shook her head. "I mean, god, talk about making a scene. What must they think of me? Stage Dive, for heaven's sake. I used to have their posters up on my wall. And you hardly ever get to catch up with your friends and I ruined it."

  "Hey, if Mal and Nell hadn't stuck their noses in where they weren't needed, none of that would have happened."