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"It's also her seven-week birthday tomorrow," I said.

  Jean looked from me to the bear and back again with Ada gurgling on her shoulder. Hard to tell if she was stunned or pissed. The mom, not the baby. Ada seemed fine about the whole thing and enjoying her midmorning awake time. Though to be fair, Ada had trouble focusing on anything more than a foot away, so probably couldn't even see the problem.

  "That's worth celebrating, right?" I smiled. "Jean?"

  Her lips parted but no words escaped.

  Shit, she wasn't buying it. So I might have gone a little overboard with Ada's Christmas present. How was I to know? This was my first time having anything to do with an infant. Women you could get flowers. So long as you aren't cheap, they're happy. All good. But babies are trickier and I wanted to make an impression. A good one, though.

  "It's bigger than her nursery," said Jean, eyes still wide with shock.

  "Sorry."

  She exhaled. "No, Eric, it's great. Incredibly generous of you. I just..."

  "A nine-foot-tall teddy is a bit much, huh?"

  "Just a little. Not that it's not beautiful."

  We both stared at the big fluffy bastard sitting in the corner of her living room. I'd smuggled him into the apartment when Jean was changing Ada in the nursery. Though maybe "smuggled" was the wrong word for something that had to be squeezed through the door. He did kind of take up a lot of space. Oops. "A bit too big."

  She nodded. Then she started quietly laughing. "That's the largest teddy bear I've ever seen in my life. I mean ... it's ginormous. Where do you even get something like that?"

  "Ordered it online. I might have gotten a little carried away," I said. "Just wanted her to have the best."

  Jean's eyes went all soft and sappy.

  "No big deal," I said.

  "It's a huge deal. You're very sweet, Eric."

  Jesus. I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jeans feeling awkward as hell.

  "Is it wrong that I feel like someone needs to make a joke about size?" she asked.

  "Later," I said. "Not in front of the baby."

  She snorted and kissed Ada's little head. Over on the table, her cell started beeping. "Do you mind?"

  I took the baby, getting my first cuddle in ages. "Hello."

  Ada stared up at me with her big eyes.

  "You know I was reading the other night and the book said you should be seeing things better soon," I told her. "Your fingers will be opening too. What do you think?"

  She whacked me in the chest with her tiny fist.

  "Don't worry, you'll get there."

  Over by the table, Jean had her cell up to her ear, listening. "No, Mom, it's fine that you called."

  Anxiety seemed to be flowing out of the woman in waves. If her parents upset her any more I'd have a few things of my own to say.

  "Yes, I realize that Grandma leaving me everything upset you," said Jean, her lips a tight line. "Threatening to sue me kind of made that point."

  Uh, this was not good.

  "Challenging the estate was attacking me, Mom." She sighed. "All right." Pause. "I appreciate the apology. It was an emotional time for all of us." She listened again. "Ada's doing great. I mean, it's hard, working out her sleep routine and everything. But the doctor's really happy with her growth and weight. She's beautiful, amazing. I wouldn't have changed having her for the world." Another pause and her brows rose. "Of course, I'd be happy to send you some pictures."

  In my arms, Ada started fussing, kicking her little feet and sucking on her fists.

  "What's up, Ada?" I mouthed.

  The good thing about babies this age is that there are generally only five things that set them off. Either they're hungry, need a diaper change, are bored, need burping, or are tired. Fuck if I knew which one had her upset, however. So I settled her on my shoulder and gently patted her back. Amazingly enough, the crying stopped.

  "Mom, I have to go. I think Ada's ready for a nap." She listened, biting on her lip. "Okay." A pause. "No, I would like to hear from you again." She shot me a smile. It still seemed a little strained. "I'll talk to you later then. Bye."

  "You all right?" I asked, rocking from foot to foot to keep Ada happy.

  "That was a surprise." Jean headed toward the kitchen to grab a drink of water. "Things were so bad when I left Florida, I honestly didn't know if I'd ever hear from them again."

  "It'd be their loss," I said. "Missing out on having a wonderful daughter and granddaughter in their lives."

  She shot me a grateful smile. "Thank you."

  Ada lay still, slumped over my shoulder. "It's the truth. Shall I put her in her crib?"

  "Yes, please," said Jean, heading for the short hallway. "The Eric magic works again."

  "My conversation can put anyone to sleep," I said modestly. "It's just one of my many gifts."

  Carefully, I followed her into the nursery, and laid Ada on a light blanket so Jean could wrap her up. Ada twitched and made a little noise of distress, but didn't fully wake. Success. We crept out of the nursery, quietly closing the door.

  "You going to get some sleep now?" I asked.

  "Do I look that bad?"

  "No. You look fine."

  "The whole yoga pants, old T-shirt, and messy hair thing really works for you, huh?"

  I just smiled. The truth being that her whole existence worked for me. Jean breathing and moving and being herself was beautiful in every way. Not that I would be saying that. An expensive giant bear might have been slightly pushing the boundaries, but blurting out sweet nothings would definitely cross a line.

  She still seemed tense though, her shoulders tight and gaze distracted.

  "You okay?" I asked. "You don't think your parents are going to try and cause trouble again, do you?"

  "No, I don't think so." She frowned. "I mean, what can they do? The estate is settled and we're halfway across the country."

  "True."

  "Mom actually sounded sorry."

  "Think they're finally figuring out what they've lost?"

  "Maybe." She shrugged, staring off at nothing. "I miss them, you know. Don't get me wrong--what they did, trying to pressure me like that. It wasn't okay. But they're still my parents ... we used to be so close. And I always imagined them being there as grandparents."

  The hurt in her voice slayed me. What would my friends do in this sort of situation? Pat would probably buy me a beer. Slap me on the back a time or two. Ditto Joe. Alex, however, would be all over me with the hugging and caring.

  Since it seemed a bit early in the day to try the beer option, I opened my arms somewhat stiffly. "Need a hug?"

  "Yes, please."

  Next thing I knew, her face was pressed against my chest and her arms were around my waist. I wrapped her up tight, giving as good as I got. Not thinking about the way her curves fit against me, because wrong. Friends didn't do that. I rested my cheek against the top of her head, nudging her messy bun out of the way. Affection with your clothes on could actually be worthwhile. Incredible.

  "I needed this," she whispered against my sweater.

  Me too. But I kept quiet, enjoying the moment. This was about her, not me.

  "I can hear your heart," she said.

  "Yeah?"

  A nod. Then she sniffed. "I think my hormones are still a bit crazy."

  "Sure you're all right?"

  "I'm fine," she said. "And I do dig the bear, really."

  I smiled. "Good. Next time I'll keep the presents to a more manageable size. Say, eight feet maximum. Definitely nothing over eight and a half. You have my word."

  "Great." She laughed. "Um, Eric?"

  "Hmm?"

  "I think you have regurgitated milk down your back, compliments of my daughter."

  Of course I did.

  "Come into the kitchen, let me clean you up."

  She stepped away and I let her go reluctantly. Best hug of my life, hands down.

  "Thank you for the hug," she said.

  "Anytime."


  "Say..." She cocked her head. "Got plans for the next while?"

  "Not really. What are you thinking?"

  "That some adult time would be wonderful," she said. "Don't feel like watching TV with me, do you?"

  I grinned, baby vomit and all. "I'd love to."

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  "Ada hated it. Too many explosions."

  As part of Jean's getting the hell out of the apartment and practicing taking the baby on expeditions program, we'd attempted going to a movie. It hadn't exactly gone as planned. But then, I was fast learning that things involving infants rarely did.

  Joe shook his shaggy head. "No such thing as too many explosions in a movie. Did you even try to explain it to her?"

  "They're loud and she's little."

  "Amazed you took her in the first place."

  "They have special showings where they leave the lights on for people with babies."

  "Huh," he said, mixing up a couple of old-fashioneds. "So you left?"

  "Nuh," I said. "I just walked back and forth beside the candy shop with Ada so Jean could catch the rest of the movie. She doesn't get out much and it would have been a pity for her to miss the ending. I can see it anytime."

  "Good of you."

  "Can't believe Ada's two months old already. Seems like just yesterday we were at the hospital and she was being delivered."

  "Lot's changed for you with her and Jean around."

  I shrugged. "Yeah. But it's all good."

  "Well, I for one am very surprised and disappointed in young Ada for not getting into the film." He popped the tops on a couple of beers and added them to Rosie's tray.

  "Why is that?"

  "I really thought she'd be into Thor. Guys with long blond hair are just cooler," he said, tossing his own blond locks around. The dickhead. "Ask anyone."

  "Be prepared to wallow in disappointment, bro." I wiped my hands off on a towel. "Ada's an intelligent and discerning young lady who thinks highly of men with long dark hair. She told me so."

  Rosie watched us, unimpressed. "You're both such idiots."

  "Harsh but true," said Joe.

  I smiled. "It runs in the family."

  "Pretty sure it comes from Dad's side."

  "Probably." I laughed. "Mom would agree with that."

  It'd been a great night. Busy, but not crazy stressful. Everyone had been in a good mood. It was close to eleven-thirty and things were winding down now, though the music kept pumping. Nights like this made me glad to own a bar. Or one third of a share in a restaurant and bar. Whatever.

  Lydia, Nell, and I had decided to stick with the no decision as a decision regarding the offer on the place. If the resort owners, the people wanting to buy the Dive Bar, had tried pushing us for a definite answer, we probably would've just said no. None of us were busting to be free of the place. But since they were content to leave the offer on the table, so be it. It could sit there until something changed.

  If something changed, I mean.

  Boyd and Curt the kitchen kid had been taking over more of the cooking duties as Nell's belly expanded. Funnily enough, being heavily pregnant seemed to improve her mood. It was like once the period where she'd lost the last baby passed, she could relax a little. She even stopped riding me so hard about Jean. Especially since I'd kept my word and not made a single move on the woman. I'd mostly made peace with the fact that Nell would never see me as a decent upstanding member of the community. Given how badly I'd let her down, I probably deserved it. Some things weren't so easy to forgive.

  "You good here?" I asked, finishing cleaning up my area.

  "Yeah. You on for the gym tomorrow?"

  "Text me what time."

  "Will do," Joe said and nodded. "'Night."

  During the winter, my brother's building jobs tended to slow as working outside became next to impossible. He took on more shifts at the bar to maintain the cash flow. It freed up Vaughan to book more gigs out of state and also meant I was available to pick up the slack in other areas, if necessary. No more doing inventory into the early hours of the morning on my own. Thank God.

  Tonight, however, I was free.

  A couple of ladies I'd chatted with over the course of the night gave me inviting smiles. I nodded back but kept walking. Honestly, the thought of a random hookup just didn't do anything for me. My dick was still officially out of order, though I had more than a sneaking suspicion it wasn't broken. More like Jean had unknowingly taken my libido hostage. Until I worked her out of my system, I didn't see anything changing.

  I started hitting the gym with my brother more often to use up extra energy. My own hand took care of the rest. Given I'd been sexually active since losing my virginity at fifteen, it was weird to take a break. The smell of it, the feel of skin on skin, I missed it all. But there was an upside. Being friendly, as opposed to flirty, made interactions with women interesting. I'd had some decent conversations about various shit. Like I had a bit more room in my head without the need for pussy.

  Don't get me wrong, taking a break from fucking didn't make me deep or anything. But enough about the insides of my head and back to reality.

  In the office, Curt was pulling on a jacket.

  "Finished?" I asked.

  "No," he said. "Nell asked us to make an order for upstairs before she left, but we got busy. Haven't had a chance to get away before now."

  "I'm heading that way. I'll take it."

  Curt grinned. "Thanks."

  I grabbed my jacket and picked up the brown paper bags off the desk. "Jean, Andre, or Alex?"

  "Jean."

  Excellent.

  The outside steps were a little icy so I took it slow. Hopefully, Jean hadn't given up on dinner and gone to bed. If my timing was right, she would be finishing up Ada's midnight feeding before her big sleep. Of course, Ada answered to no one, so no guarantees.

  When I put my ear to her door, noises could be heard. It was safe to knock.

  She answered the door in flannel pajamas covered in hedgehogs. I'd never considered the small animals a turn-on before. But honestly, it was hard to look away, she was so cute.

  "Eric. Hi."

  "I hear you've been waiting on this?" I held up the order. "Sorry about the delay."

  "No problem at all." She smiled. "Are you heading straight to bed?"

  "You feel like company?"

  "Absolutely." She stepped back, holding the door open. "Come on in."

  Subtlety had never been my strong suit. By now Jean should just know that if given the chance, I'd want to be with her. Ada lay on a blanket on the floor, apparently watching a TV show involving colorful balls bouncing around and a soothing voice reciting the alphabet. Weird.

  "She was wide awake so I gave up trying to settle her," said Jean, unpacking her chicken-and-noodle salad. "It's her favorite program."

  "Remind me to introduce her to WWE sometime."

  Jean cocked her head. "Maybe not."

  "Okay." I pulled a chair up to the table. "I bet this show would make perfect sense if you were stoned."

  "Probably." She laughed. "How was work?"

  "Good. Busy."

  And right up there with hedgehogs was watching Jean eat. Lips sliding over the tines of her fork and her tongue struggling to keep everything under control. She was hot even with noodles slipping over her chin. Hell, I had to look away before things got uncomfortable.

  "Joe is upset Ada didn't love Thor," I said, picking at a thread on my jeans. "I think he sees himself as Thor in this scenario."

  She laughed. "Tell him I feel real bad for his poor delicate male ego."

  "We can't help it." I put my hand to my heart. "We're sensitive creatures."

  "Sure you are."

  "Meant to ask you, did you hear any more from your parents?" I asked, curious. And maybe a little protective.

  She nodded, taking a moment to swallow her food. "Yes, actually. I haven't talked to Dad yet, but Mom's called a couple of times."

  "Big turnaround."


  She shrugged. "I don't know. She seems sincere."

  "Like I said, they're missing out big-time not being part of your and Ada's life."

  "Thank you."

  I shrugged it off. It was, after all, a simple statement of fact.

  "I think they've mostly agreed with all of my big decisions up until this point." She frowned, staring off at nothing. "Guess going against their wishes and keeping my baby caught them by surprise."

  "Maybe," I said.

  "You know, you guys don't have to keep bringing the orders to my door," she said, changing the subject. "Not that I don't appreciate it."

  "Curt often runs things up for Alex." I shrugged. "It's not a big deal. I'm sorry it was late though."

  "No worries. Are you sure about delivering?"

  "Yeah." I nodded. "Saves you from having to suit up Ada and bring her down."

  "That's true," she said, wrapping noodles around her fork. "But I don't have to take it easy on the stairs or anything anymore. The doctor okayed me for everything a couple of weeks ago."

  "That's great."

  She nodded, finishing another mouthful. "Not that I have the least interest in sex."

  Whoa. Where did that come from?

  "Even if I did have a partner," she said, waving the fork around. "Can you imagine getting busy after caring night and day for a baby?"

  "Hmm." I tried to smile, but it felt more like a grimace.

  "It's just so full-on. I mean, where would that energy even come from?" she asked, eyes wide. "Besides the fact that I look like something a cat coughed up on the rug."

  "You don't look anything like cat barf," I said, sternly. "I keep telling you, you look good, but you don't believe me."

  She barked out a laugh. "I think you're very kind."

  "No. Not really."

  "They should make up a sex position for new parents," she continued. "The sloth. 'You have my permission. Just hurry up and get it done while I lie here and take a quick nap.'"

  "Sounds hot."

  "Right? Total turn-on."

  "I take it there'll be drool and snoring during this incredible quickie?"

  "Oh, absolutely."

  I just shook my head.

  "Sorry," she said. "I'm probably making you uncomfortable."

  "It's fine," I said, not thinking about having any kind of sex with Jean to the best of my ability. My ability sucked. "We're friends. You can talk about anything with me. Even the sloth."

  For a moment, she just looked at me. Her gaze full of I don't even know what emotion. Then she sighed. Oh holy shit, that sound. It alone had my dick at half-mast. All the woman had to do was click her fingers and I'd be begging on my knees. Friendship my ass. I was the literal worst.