Chaser Page 11

  "Do you think that's a good idea?" she eventually asked.

  "Me visiting?" I rose to my feet, not wanting any hint of cranky around Ada. "Seriously?"

  "Yes."

  I glanced back at Ada. No change there, she was still happily beating the crap out of her toys. All good. "Nell, what's your problem?"

  She shot me a look. I couldn't read it.

  "I know we've been through some tough times and I let you down." I swallowed hard. Jesus, just the thought of the accident and her losing the baby and everything made my knees turn to jelly. "I'm owning that. But do you really think I'm out to harm Jean and Ada here?"

  "I warned you to stay away from her when she first arrived," she bit out.

  "We're friends. Deal with it."

  "I warned you--"

  "Jesus, Nell." I hung my head. "We're not kids anymore. This isn't the damn schoolyard. You don't get to tell me who I can or can't see."

  "She has enough to deal with being a single parent."

  "I am not trying to add to her problems."

  She huffed out a laugh. It wasn't the I'm-happy-and-having-fun type. "You don't have to try, Eric. It's just who you are."

  "Christ."

  She said nothing.

  "Jean and I are friends. End of story," I said. "If you don't like it, I honestly don't care. That's your problem, not mine."

  A muscle twitched in her jawline. "I'm just trying to protect her."

  "What have I done to hurt her, hmm? Tell me."

  "What you always do. Anytime the heat is on, you're out," she said. "Take just zipping off to California for a few weeks."

  "Are you blaming me for being around her, or for not being around for her?" I snapped. "Make up your mind."

  "You'll screw up eventually, Eric. You can't help it."

  The venom in her voice ... hell. I rocked back on my heels. "You actually hate me, don't you?"

  "No, of course not," she said. "But I'm wary of you. I know you too well to be anything else. And I don't want you hanging around my friend who is young, alone, and vulnerable."

  Christ. "I thought we could get along, move past all of this. But that's not going to happen, is it? Maybe we should just sell the Dive Bar."

  "Maybe we should." Nell rubbed at her temples, not saying anything for quite some time. The silence was not comfortable. "Look, just promise me you're not going to hit on her or anything."

  "Sure." Possibly feeling just a wee bit defensive, I crossed my arms. "I am not going to hit on Jean. I promise."

  "Are your fingers crossed?"

  "What?"

  "You heard me."

  Swearing under my breath, I held my arms out straight, fingers splayed. "I repeat. Not going to hit on Jean."

  "You really think you can be friends with a woman you find attractive and not want to sleep with her? Really?"

  "Yes." My jaw tensed. "I can. Jean has a lot on her plate and I want to help her. We're just friends and that's the way it's going to stay."

  Her eyes couldn't have possibly gotten any wider. "God. You actually believe that, don't you?"

  I counted to ten. Slowly.

  "Come on, Eric, you have to admit this is unprecedented," she said. "You actually caring about anyone outside of yourself."

  "You think I can't make decisions with the big head, huh?"

  "I know you can't. Especially when you're attracted to the woman," she said. "And I know you're into Jean. The way you behaved when she first arrived was ridiculous. I've never seen your tongue hanging so far out of your head."

  I wasn't even going to dignify that with a response.

  "Well?"

  "If you're convinced I'm so terrible, then why are we even talking about this?" I crossed my arms again. The whole fucking conversation got under my skin in the worst way possible.

  "All right, I'll try to withhold judgement."

  "Big of you, Nell."

  She exhaled. "Fine."

  "Fine."

  Without another word, she headed on over to play with Ada. I probably should have just left. Only who knew what Nell would say to Jean about me going. Something along the lines of undependable, ruled by his penis, and out to destroy your life, no doubt. Plus, I'd told Jean I'd be here looking after the baby while she took a shower. Screw it, I was staying. The evil ginger woman would not chase me out. Jean and Ada were the best things to happen to me in a long time. Being with them made me feel good, gave me a purpose. They made me want to be better, to do better. No messing around, no sex or anything to make things confused. I was going to be someone they could both rely upon if it killed me.

  Decision made.

  Except then Jean came out of bathroom wearing only a towel and I really didn't expect my vow to only be friends with her to start killing me quite so soon. Dark wet hair hanging down and cheeks pink from the hot shower. A good amount of leg was on display. Though honestly, even her bare shoulders got me bothered. Nell might not hate me (and the jury was still out about that), but God sure as hell did. I reversed course and headed for the fridge, badly needing a glass of water. Also possibly a kick to the head, which I bet Nell would be more than happy to provide.

  "I forgot my robe," she explained.

  "No problem."

  "Hi, Nell!" she called out, making a dash for her bedroom.

  "Hey," said Nell.

  The woman was bare-assed naked under the towel and never had I been more aware of that fact. Dammit. I was not going to look again and I was also not going to hit on her. She did have enough going on in her life. We were just friends, which was great because she needed friends, people she could depend on not to make decisions with what was in their pants. And I would be someone she could depend on.

  Water gushed into the glass I was holding, my hand shaking. I drank the whole thing down in one gulp. No doubt my liver would thank me. Check me out, getting through a slightly traumatic event, like seeing Jean wet and wrapped in a towel right after I'd promised never to hit on her, without even hitting the scotch. Eric version 2.0 was already off to a great start. Amazing.

  The bedroom door clicked shut, and it was safe to look up again.

  "Are you okay?" asked Nell with yet another frown.

  "Yep."

  "Then why do you have that look on your face?"

  "Gas," I lied.

  "Jesus." She turned away, blinking. "Yeah, I didn't need to know that."

  "So next time don't ask."

  Ada, cranky about life or something, made a screechy sound.

  "I hear ya, girlfriend," I murmured.

  "What?" asked Nell.

  "Just agreeing with Ada."

  Nell nodded. "You are intellectual equals. For now. She'll eclipse you soon, though."

  I don't even bother saying "whatever." No point.

  *

  By week four of Ada's existence, Jean was about ready to climb the walls. I knew this because she told me so. Repeatedly. Venturing out into the real world was required. She settled on grocery shopping since the only thing in her fridge was food from the restaurant and even great food repeated got boring after a while. Also, some Christmas shopping needed to happen. The big day was only a few weeks away. She'd been all set to go on her own, but I managed to sweet talk her into inviting me along.

  "I just feel that you're stereotyping her," I said as we wandered down the grocery store aisle.

  "Eric, for the hundredth time, I don't care what you think of her outfit." Jean pushed the cart along like a woman on a mission to buy just about everything. Mostly fruit, vegetables, and ice cream. A good cross section, really. She had my full approval. Not that it was required. "I think it's cute."

  "I'm not saying it's not cute." I stopped and waited as yet another woman cooed at Ada. The kid was a girl magnet, I kid you not. Also, I was going through a dry spell. Hell, let's call it what it was, a desert. I was crossing the sexual equivalent of Death Valley, my libido dragging itself through the hot sands. Not even sure why exactly. Something just kept sto
pping me from following through on getting down with someone. Maybe Eric 2.0 needed to stop and take stock. Get his shit sorted on his own with no distractions. While still keeping his commitments to Jean, Ada, and work, of course.

  God, all of this deep thinking hurt.

  "She's more of a tiger than a rabbit, you know?" I said once I'd caught up to Jean again. If anything, she seemed amused by the attention Ada and I were getting.

  "Did you get her phone number?" asked Jean.

  "Hmm?"

  "Your new friend." She nodded to the curvy redhead still watching us from over by a citrus fruit display. "You did, didn't you?"

  "No." I frowned. "I'm here to help you, not cruise for chicks."

  "And complain about Ada's bunny suit."

  "I'm offering valuable parenting advice. That counts as helping."

  "How's my precious girl?" Jean leaned in, giving the baby currently attached to my front by some crazy harness contraption a kiss. I didn't take the opportunity to sniff Jean's hair, because that would be weird and creepy.

  Coconut scented, though, if you're wondering.

  "She slept almost a full five hours in a row last night." Jean sighed. "I feel half human."

  "I thought I noticed something different about you this morning. You look..." What did just a friend even say in this sort of situation? That was the question. Everything that normally would have come out of my mouth could easily be misconstrued as a come-on. Which it normally would be. These were difficult, trying-as-all-hell times. Truth was, I'd never seen her look anything less than gorgeous. No matter how tired or messy-haired she got. The woman made my knees weak. But friends probably didn't tell each other stuff like that. "You know..."

  Her smile was hesitant, waiting.

  "Good. You look, yeah, good."

  "Thanks."

  "But back to these..." I held up the pair of fluffy ears attached to Ada's seriously stupid bunny snowsuit. Despite needing every and any distraction, I was pretty offended on the kid's behalf. "Do these say warrior princess to you?"

  "Isn't she a little small to be kicking butt?"

  "But it's the message you're sending. She should be in like a wolf suit or a dragon costume or something."

  With a smile, Jean held Ada's hands. "Fine. Whatever. You dress her next time."

  "All right, I will."

  She laughed. "Can't wait to see that."

  "Why? It's not that hard, is it?"

  Jean just shrugged. "I'm sure it'll be fine. Big capable guy such as yourself should have no trouble getting her into her suit. Especially when she's in a foul mood and throwing a tantrum. It's really fun then."

  Ada's little feet swung around, one hand waving while the other got sucked on. When she was all chill and cute, it seemed hard to believe she could ever be all "hell hath no fury."

  "Hmm." I tucked the ears back so they didn't hang in her face. "I think your mommy's being mean to me about this whole suit thing, Ada. And I was only trying to stick up for you."

  "Not even remotely. Rest assured, you'll know when I'm being mean to you, Mr. Collins." Jean raised an eyebrow. Never had a woman holding frozen chicken strips looked so hot.

  Whoa. I stopped, licked my lips. "Will I now?"

  "Mm-hmm." With five solid hours of sleep under her belt, she seemed a little more back to being herself. The charming young woman who had swanned into the bar a few months ago.

  "Why would you want to be mean to me, when I live only to serve you and Miss Floppy Ears here?"

  "Oh, do you now?" she asked, going heavy on the disbelief.

  "You know I do."

  Jean shot me a megawatt smile this time.

  We were not flirting. We were doing something else. Something that felt a shitload like flirting, but wasn't. Because we were just friends. And hey, I'd only been stating a simple fact. "I, ah, did meet someone last night at work who I wanted to tell you about."

  Jean's smiled disappeared. "Yes?"

  "Her name was Caroline and she's a single mom like you," I said. "She had some interesting ideas for helping Ada go to sleep. About using light to signal that it's bedtime. Basically, lots of sunlight during the day, then use the dimmers at night when you want her to settle."

  "Okay," she said slowly.

  "You're already putting her down when she's drowsy instead of asleep, so we knew about that one. Same with the baby origami so she doesn't twitch and startle." I put my hands under Ada's little sock-covered feet. She liked pushing against something, testing her strength. "But Caroline also suggested avoiding eye contact during midnight feeds so you don't stimulate her."

  "You talked about baby bedtime routines with a random woman at the bar?"

  I shrugged. "Yeah. She was very nice. Gave me her number in case you wanted to reach out."

  "Um, I don't think it's me she's hoping will reach out."

  "Of course it is."

  Jean laughed. "Since when in your experience have women talked to you in the hopes of finding baby playdate friends?"

  "Hey now," I said, "just because I'm delightful and ridiculously good looking doesn't mean every woman I talk to is only thinking about what I can do for them in bed."

  "Hmm."

  "You don't constantly think about us having sex, do you?" I asked, already knowing the answer. Because Jean might have flirted with me at first, but those days were long gone. "I rest my case."

  Her mouth opened, then closed, her brows drawing closer together. "I'm too tired to think about sex."

  "Exactly."

  "Besides, look what sex did to me." She stroked Ada's cheek with a finger. "It gave me this beautiful, wonderful, incredibly high-maintenance baby girl. Excuse me if I take a break from all things naked and horizontal for a while. I only just got to stop sharing my body with a little being. I'm not sure I want to open it up to anyone else anytime soon."

  "Fair enough," I said. "Now stop saying 'sex.'"

  "You stop saying 'sex.'"

  "I swear, it's all you ever think about, you ladies."

  More laughter. "No, I think about diapers and milk and laundry. It's a very glamorous life having a baby. God knows how people deal with more than one. They should be given gold medals and cookies."

  I grinned.

  "Hey, I thought it was you guys," said Andre, wandering up alongside us. He nodded at my chest. "Got something on your front there, man."

  "Yeah, thanks," I said drily.

  Ada waved her chubby fist and he grinned. "Hey, bunny girl. Cool costume."

  Jean gave me a look like, "Andre likes the outfit" so I gave her a look like, "that really just makes my point." And then he had to go and do it. He leaned in and kissed Jean on the cheek. Give me strength. If it had been the baby, no worries. But I didn't even get to kiss Jean on the cheek and we were like besties these days. When I wasn't at work, I was helping her out with whatever she needed. Be it taking out the trash, doing dishes, or hanging out with Ada so she could get stuff done. Hanging with her and Ada was my new happy place.

  But as for this whole face-kissing thing ... fucking outrageous. Andre was seriously crossing a line. Where was Nell to lecture him when he needed it, huh?

  "How are you doing?" he asked in a much warmer voice than was required. Making my hands curl into fists.

  "Great," said Jean, smiling on. "How about you?"

  "Better now that I've seen the two cutest girls in town."

  Gag.

  I grabbed Ada's cloth out of my back pocket and wiped her chin before an impressively long line of dribble could hit the floor. Obviously, she was as unimpressed by Andre's hustling as I was. The girl had taste.

  Jean and Andre chatted for a minute, while I distracted myself by quietly singing Ada some Janis Joplin. "Me and Bobby McGee" was our go-to track, though she also enjoyed "Mercedes Benz." "Cry Baby" would have been too obvious, plus possible subliminal messages that wouldn't end well for anybody. I didn't really know any proper baby songs, but she didn't seem to mind. Jean didn't seem to mind
either. She always told me not to stop on her account. And the other day I heard her humming "Mercedes Benz" to Ada as she changed her diaper. Classic rock was everyone's friend. Forget Mariah Carey and her Christmas carols playing over the store's speakers.

  "Right, Eric?" asked Andre.

  "Huh?"

  "She should come to the bar's Christmas party next week," he said. "Jean and the baby, right?"

  Jean grimaced. "I don't know..."

  "Come on." Andre grinned. "You can both be my dates. It'd be an honor."

  My heart stuttered. I swear, it stopped for like a second or something. She had been getting cabin fever lately being stuck at home with Ada all the time. Given the frosty weather conditions, it wasn't like even going for a walk was easy.

  "It is just downstairs and there'll be plenty of people to help look after Ada," I said.

  A kind of light came into her eyes. Excitement, perhaps. "You think?"

  "Sure. You should come."

  Later I'd kick myself for not asking her before Andre. Later.

  "It'll be fun. You'll have a good time," I rambled on. "Stupid of me not to have asked you already. We've just been so slammed at work with all the Christmas party bookings and everything. Damn."

  "Snooze and you lose," quipped Andre. Never had I wanted to kill a friend quite so much. Strangle him with tinsel or something equally fitting for the festive season.

  "Okay," said Jean, still a little hesitant. "That would be great. Thank you. We accept your kind invitation."

  "Excellent." Andre leaned down and kissed her on the cheek again. Bastard. "I've got to keep going, but I'll see you later."

  "Bye." Jean stared after him, wistfully or something. Whatever it was, I didn't like it. "Eric, wasn't that nice of him?"

  I grunted.

  She slipped one of her fingers into Ada's tiny grip. "We've got a hot date, baby girl."

  I was going to smother the son of a bitch to death in his sleep. Either that or insist he join me on the celibacy wagon. Death or abstinence, the man had a choice.

  All right, so maybe there was a little jealousy. Maybe Nell was right that I sucked at being just friends. But I gritted my teeth and held back the venomous snipe at Andre burning on the tip of my tongue. Fake it 'til you make it and all that. One thing was for certain, this personal growth thing hurt.

  "Come to my folks' place with me, Christmas Day," I blurted out. "You should ... yeah. No reason to spend the day on your own. Mom would love having you and Ada there. Also, she's a great cook."